coffee

I’ve stopped drinking coffee. A couple of weeks ago my stomach hurt after the second cup, it was an ominous kind of hurt and I decided maybe I should lay off. I’ve built a bit of personality around the whole coffee thing, but it’s just a front: I’ve found it useful as a teacher to have one obvious foible. That way the kids don’t waste time inventing more spectacular issues and they can alternatively use their energy to try to help/convert you or dismiss you as some typically flawed adult. When I’m in the UK I just drink tea so really I’ve only been a serious coffee drinker for 11 years. That said the day after I stopped I had an awful headache that lasted all day. And I’ve had curious flashbacks to various coffee houses, some of which I only ever visited once. And I’ve actually experienced several nasal hallucinations of freshly brewed java; I’ve asked others if they could smell them, all but one were indeed my own invention. This is quite strange for me.
I’ve been looking for differences. I don’t have more energy, but I have a different energy and would now categorize coffee energy as something dark and heavy, like a double lined curtain which keeps out light but makes you feel quiet and comfortable. I’ve replaced coffee with a hot mixture of ginger, lime and chili all from the garden – ridiculously healthy and tasty, the chili gives heat to the throat which kind of feels like caffeine. Another difference is that I’m thirsty all the time and must be drinking almost 3 liters of water a day. I will drink it occasionally, I had a cup at Shaun’s on Sunday (she makes a delicious espresso, chocolate, orange oil blend), just to prove to myself I’m not addicted, but short of the subconscious flashbacks and hallucinations, () I’m not consciously craving it. My compost will feel the absence of grounds.